Eating Like My Children

All Compassion Advocates received this book by Chris Seay.  It is divided into 40 readings, so it lends itself to a Lenten reading.  I began reading last Wednesday, so I'm four days late starting on the following plan.

The idea is to eat as the poor eat, the children we sponsor.  I am always frustrated by how much we have in this country.  I rarely watch TV, only for sporting events, but when I see the commercials for the incredibly unhealthy and overindulgent food, it makes me ill.  Not ill because if I actually ate that food, I would be ill (because I would), but ill because we have so much, and so many have so little.

For me to participate in this eating plan is very important, a way for me to try to avoid the ridiculous amounts of unhealthy food that we consume in this country every day.  So tomorrow I begin eating beans, corn, potatoes (rice is an option, but I really dislike it), soup, and fruit.  Most of my children eat bananas, but I'm allergic to them, so I have to adjust that a bit.  I am already happy about this for one reason--I was amazed at how low my grocery bill was today.  It was about half of what it usually is for a week, and I don't even buy the prepackaged, calorie and fat laden food that most people buy.  I'm excited to see where this leads me spiritually and physically.

However, I'm feeling a bit sad.  I haven't received a letter for more than two weeks, and with 12 children, I sort of thought I would have had another by now.

I feel as if I'm failing as an Advocate.  A friend sponsored a child last spring after listening to me talk about my children, and that's what made me think about becoming an Advocate.  I've only been one for about 6 months, but I have not been able to get any new sponsors.  I have raised money for Bite Back, but that's it.

My church won't let me present Compassion on Compassion Sunday, although I might be permitted to have a sponsor table, but I'm still waiting to find out.  I'm going to try to present to Sunday School classes, but I feel pretty discouraged about even trying.

I teach preschool Sunday School every few months.  Today was my last day for this month (duh).  The last Sunday of the month is always movie day.  First, my helper met me at the room and said he couldn't help because he wanted to go to the service.  Then I burned the popcorn in the dilapidated microwave.  The children weren't very interested in the movie and kept wanting to play with the toys instead.  The people who came in to teach the 11:00 Sunday School complained about my popcorn fiasco and said, "All you had to do was push the popcorn button on the microwave."  Well, that's what I did!  And look what happened.

So I feel like a failure today, but at least I can feel as if I'm identifying with my Compassion children by eating like them, and I can feel an even deeper connection to them.

My Lifelong Goal

I don't think I realized it until lately, but goal for my entire adult life has been to help children, including teenagers, know that they matter, that they are beautiful, that they never need doubt themselves.  My parents never said those things to me.  Actually, they called me a troublemaker and other names I wouldn't repeat anywhere, especially here.  That's probably one reason I have always avoided cursing, not because I think I'm better than others, but because of those memories.  But I digress.
As a teacher, I try very hard (not always successful) to encourage students and never to say anything that would make them feel bad about themselves (my heart breaks when I think of the times I have failed).
This weekend, I went to Walmart.  I never go to Walmart for several reasons, but I was close on Saturday, so I went.  I saw one of the little girls who was in my Vacation Bible School group in July.  I was so, so happy to see her again, and she smiled at me the entire time I talked with her. She has such a sweet spirit.  I told her what a great person she is, although she has parents who tell her that daily.
On Sunday, I worked at our church at what we called "Oasis Place After the Race."  The Rock and Roll Half Marathon was held here in Virginia Beach on Sunday, and since our church is right at the oceanfront, we are prevented from having our first two services.  So we set up an "oasis" where the runners and their families--and anyone else--could get food, water, prayer, communion, music, and best of all . . . the children could make pinwheels.  That was my job.  For two straight hours, I helped children make pinwheels.  Nonstop.  We were quite popular.
With every pinwheel, I did all I could to encourage each child about the good job he or she was doing, and to compliment the children on their appearance and their skill at following directions (so different from high school students!  Ha.).
I asked one little girl if anyone had ever told her she was pretty.  She said, "Yes," at which her mother chuckled.  I said, "Well, that's good because you are, and I want you to promise me that you will remember that for the rest of your life, no matter what."  She was probably only about three years old, but I do pray that somehow what I said to her will make a difference in a dark and lonely time later in her life.  Because we all have those times, don't we?
So that little rambling story pretty much tells the reason I am passionate about being a Compassion sponsor and a Compassion advocate.  I want children to feel loved and important.  Because they are.

One of the little girls who made a pinwheel