If Only I Had Known . . .

Dear God,

When You first spoke to my heart about child sponsorship at that newsboys’ concert a few years ago (You know exactly how many, but I don’t remember), I had no idea at the time that it would be a life changing experience.

Well, You know that I didn’t respond that night.  Something kept me from it.  I think we left right away, and I used that as my “out.”  I was afraid to make a monthly financial commitment because You know how much anxiety I have about finances.  I sometimes wonder if a child suffered because I didn’t listen to You.

If only I had known . . . . . 

But You didn’t let go.  There they were again--newsboys--talking about helping our neighbors in Mexico, and I knew I couldn’t walk away this time.  It’s really amazing to look back at how You design everything to fall into place in my life, so that my life follows the plan You have for it, even if I’m sometimes too thick-headed to respond right away.  How many times have I cried to You out of loneliness because I have no family, because people look down on me for having no children of my own?

But You gave me children.  Lots of them.  They are my family--those sweet Compassion children.  And in them I see You.  They love so freely.  They don’t know me.  They’ve never met me.  Yet they love me.  They send me “besos y abrazos” with every letter, and I accept those as Your love for me.

You have taught me so much through them, to look beyond my own selfish world to see a hurting and devastated world that needs Your love, to see how little these children have when I thought I was the one with very little.  I have so much.

They have changed my life.  They have filled my life.  I needed a reason to live, and You gave me my Compassion children.  Now I know that someone needs me, someone loves me, someone depends on me.  I’m important.  ME.  Important.

I signed on to give to them, to help them, but You have given so much to me through them.

And now . . . as I prepare to meet one of them in person, I am amazed beyond words at what you have done with my life, from a small village in Ohio where I had little, knew very little love, to a week in Peru ministering to your children and fulfilling the dream of one very special one.  I can’t even imagine what You will do with my heart during that week and that one very special day that I will spend with Jack.

I can’t imagine why You have chosen me, but I am grateful that You entrust me with Your very precious children.

Mi niña en Ecuador

http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm