So . . . ever since I signed up for the trip to Peru, I have face a lot of adversity. Nothing really, really bad, but enough to wear me down. It's mostly from work, with people criticizing me even though I take great pride in going beyond what is expected of me, and MORE people compliment me and thank me for my help.
Why is it the negative ones that stick with us? As tobyMac said recently, I don't want to fall into "Christianese," but I am fighting a spiritual battle at work.
July was my one month off (I am an 11-month school employee), so I was looking forward to resting and being refreshed. Instead, I spent the month taking care of my 17-year-old nephew who broke his ankle badly on my first day of vacation. I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything, but it took its toll on me.
Now I have received my travel packet from Compassion and found that my last name is misspelled on my ticket from Miami to Lima. Needless to say, it doesn't match the name on my passport. This does not bode well. However, the Compassion trip leader has assured me that he can fix it easily on Monday morning.
I feel very discouraged in my life. I know it's my fault because I have to change my focus and not allow "things" to get me down. I feel as if I keep getting kicked in the same spot, and it hurts more each time. One hit on a football player is okay, but when half the team "piles on," bad stuff can happen. Unless you're Hines Ward and you're made of steel and just get up smiling no matter how much it hurts.
What I believe with all that has happened in the last few months is that Satan really doesn't want me to go to Peru. I have felt like giving up many times. I feel so inadequate. I don't think I know enough Spanish (because I'm a perfectionist) even though I've been studying. I feel like I won't do a good job with the children, even though I'm a teacher, and that's my God-given strength. I'm afraid I will get sick when we travel over the mountains into the jungle. I live at sea level, and we will be going 15,000 feet above sea level!
I wish I were in better physical shape so that I wouldn't get tired and I would look better when I meet my sponsored child, but a foot injury, for which I will have surgery and miss three months of work when I return from Peru, has kept me from working out the way I like. Yet another obstacle.
All this discouragement that I feel and the obstacles I've faced tells me that great things will happen in Peru. I know it will be a life-changing event, but I believe it will go beyond that. There are forces trying to keep me out of that country.
Something great from God awaits me.
Why is it the negative ones that stick with us? As tobyMac said recently, I don't want to fall into "Christianese," but I am fighting a spiritual battle at work.
July was my one month off (I am an 11-month school employee), so I was looking forward to resting and being refreshed. Instead, I spent the month taking care of my 17-year-old nephew who broke his ankle badly on my first day of vacation. I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything, but it took its toll on me.
Now I have received my travel packet from Compassion and found that my last name is misspelled on my ticket from Miami to Lima. Needless to say, it doesn't match the name on my passport. This does not bode well. However, the Compassion trip leader has assured me that he can fix it easily on Monday morning.
I feel very discouraged in my life. I know it's my fault because I have to change my focus and not allow "things" to get me down. I feel as if I keep getting kicked in the same spot, and it hurts more each time. One hit on a football player is okay, but when half the team "piles on," bad stuff can happen. Unless you're Hines Ward and you're made of steel and just get up smiling no matter how much it hurts.
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| ¡Muchas montañas! |
I wish I were in better physical shape so that I wouldn't get tired and I would look better when I meet my sponsored child, but a foot injury, for which I will have surgery and miss three months of work when I return from Peru, has kept me from working out the way I like. Yet another obstacle.
All this discouragement that I feel and the obstacles I've faced tells me that great things will happen in Peru. I know it will be a life-changing event, but I believe it will go beyond that. There are forces trying to keep me out of that country.
Something great from God awaits me.
Something huge and amazing is waiting for you in Peru! I just know it!! And I can't wait to hear all about it :) I sponsor a little girl in Peru, near the coast (so I am especially excited to read about your adventures). I'll be praying for you as you face all the stress and worry, but know that you are not inadequate, you are perfect. There is a reason YOU are going where YOU are going. God has a plan, so keep fighting those fears!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emily. A lot.
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